Alka Seltzer Artisanal

Bayer Global fires the first shot in the upscale OTC pain relief market today with its announcement of Alka Seltzer Artisanal.  Same great Alka Seltzer relief, but now in the shape of hand-crafted, mission-style furniture.  The dissolvable craft pieces come in Regular, Lemon-Lime and Pot Roast flavors.  Bayer Vice President for Product Development, Merrick Craddleton, said “We’ve known where the market was heading.  But hand crafted fizzies take time to develop.  We really invested in the finest craftspeople from across the planet, actually.  Mission furniture is just our first line of artisanal fizzies.  Next year we plan on launching two more including a Louis XIV line.”  Sign us up!

This is a good sign from Bayer that the traditionally conservative company is willing to go with the times and cater to a select market that values quality.

The product hits select markets mid-October 2016.

alka-seltzer-box

Random Binary Data

Thirty-two Gigabytes of random binary data for sale.  Mostly ones and zeros.  Both compressed and uncompressed.  Moving.  Must sell.

For Sale – 12 Year Old Black Cat $10,000 Firm

me-n-squishy-n-santa

This is Squishy.*  She is a beautiful, versatile, indoor-outdoor cat.  She is altered and up to date on all required and recommended vaccinations.  She is a beloved pet and family member and is available immediately for $10,000.  Upon meeting Squishy, you will immediately remark her friendly affection, and her soft, full coat.  Another feature is her ability to meow at the back door when other cats would utilize a litter box.  She will use a litter box if one is available and humans are not around to open a door.  Act soon to become part of the next exciting phase in Squishy’s life.  This cat will sell soon.

 

* Name reassignments are available for all felines.