An Open Letter To All Potential Gunmen In My Area

Dear Sir or Madam,

I really hope you are reading this because I have something important to say that has been weighing on my chest ever since I first thought of it. It seems to me that you are an individual of deep feelings that you don't always know how to deal with. That is fine. All people feel that way at one time or another; not to belittle your problems. I'm sure your problems are much, much bigger. I have nothing but sympathy.

There are several pawn shops in our area and I imagine you will be a first time offender. I have no doubts in your ability to purchase and use a firearm. That's why I'm writing you now while you are calm and untroubled. I want to ask a favor of you. Please read this carefully and think about it. If you dedide your only way to deal with your pain is by shooting people you don't know in a public place somewhere near your house (and my house), please, please, oh God please, do not shoot me.

Of course I don't want you to shoot anyone. I am in no way condoning the shooting of anyone. I just want to ask that you especially not shoot me; if you have to shoot people, that is. You don't even need to make any sacrifices for me. You can shoot just as many people as you need to. I mean, only if you absolutely must shoot people. I would much rather you not shoot anyone! All I'm saying is to maybe aim a little to the left or the right.

My primary suggestion, of course, is to get professional psychiatric help and avoid shooting anyone, for your entire life. But if, for example, you just got laid off and don't have insurance or can't afford help (of course you can't afford professional therapy! Who can? Those guys charge an arm and a leg just for asking about your mother, then they want to charge you for shock therapy!) and the next best thing is shooting up a crowd, please don't shoot into one I am in. Or if you shoot up a crowd I'm in, please let me run away without getting shot.

I'm about five feet five inches tall with short, auburn-brown hair, an athletic build, blue eyes, and dimples. I will probably be wearing a brightly-colored, sleeveless shirt and a short skirt. I am well loved by my young family and scared shitless. Please, Sir or Madam who obviously has power over me, please don't shoot me.


Love,
Anne-Marie Gerald