Diary Of A Black Hole

Dear me,
Invited the Johnsons over for dinner. Did not go well. They were reduced to point singularities and I come off looking rude. Is it me? It's them, right?

Dear diary,
I long to see the big picture. What happened to the Johnsons? My intense gravitational forces reduced all the matter in their bodies to zero mass, sure, but then what? Then where does their matter go? I am just a cog. And since not even light can escape by bulk, quite a misunderstood cog. I wish I believed in God. I guess I'll take a nap.

Dear Diary-uh,
If I look too long at a sun, I get a liitle sad. That lovely, life-giving star will someday be snuffed out in the thick of my mighty belly.
On a sidenote, I went to the new Kroger on Herron Street. I like the self-checkout thing.

Diary dear Diary lend us your ear,
Am I a good black hole? I know I'm kind of new so I don't get to suck a whole lot, but that will change. I know it. It's just got to. I know i haven't swallowed a star in 20,000 years but there just aren't any! It's not my fault. I'm a good black hole. I think I show great promise. I am a good black hole. In fact, I might just ask for a raise...

Dear diary,
Well, I did it. I asked for a raise. I still don't know the answer yet, but the point is that I made the call. I stood up for myself and I did it. Now all I can do is wait. It's out of my hands. Go me!

Dear Diary,
I don't know why I thought I deserved a raise. That was so stupid. Of course I don't deserve a raise. I mean, look at me? Ok, well then, look at the things around me. Nothing. Business here sucks and it's all my fault.