If Only These Walls Could Dance...

If these walls could dance, I bet they wouldn't square dance. No, that would be too schmaltzy for dancing walls. I mean, if they're going to go to all that trouble, they'd probably do something very classy like the Cha-Cha or the Waltz. On the occasional Friday or Saturday night, they all get together to whirl the night away to that earthy Latin music or the airy classics of the smooth dances. Sometimes, the walls get carried away by the rhythms and find love between the sheetrock, but they always have fun. These walls could compete, but they don't. Oh no. There's a big difference between social dancing walls and their competitive counterparts. In order to be successful on a professional level, walls must constantly be together for hours and hours everyday for at least a year or two. Such a rigorous training regime can sometimes wear down an otherwise constructive relationship. There's the weight of the "must-win" situations, the pressure to get plastic surgery, to wear the skimpy outfits, to always be on top, to come back with the money and the 64-inch trophy. Someone else is always lurking around the corner, ready to pounce at the first sign of weakness. Once one of the walls starts taking the criticism personally, the relationship cracks. They lose that foundation of trust. Then, the partnership becomes uneven and the whole thing goes right to hell. That's why these walls...these walls just dance for the love of dancing and each other.