KISS Army Called Upon for Active Duty

In the wake of the September 11th attacks many things in our world have been forever changed. From big soldiers in camouflage with giant machine guns at the airport to the armed guard who stands outside of my office building, there is definitely a more militaristic feel to our lives. With so many individuals on duty, communities are not surprised to find themselves “spread thin” when it comes to security issues. Cities are simply running out of qualified people to protect our everyday lives.

What’s the chain of command? Military, National Reserves, Police Departments, security guards… KISS Army.

Ok, ok; it doesn’t seem entirely logical, but given the numbers and the dedication, what we have here is a fairly organized and loyal group of people who need to get off their asses and do something more productive.

Let us consider some of the possibilities. Well first, everyday will be like Halloween with all the make-up and costumes we’d be seeing, and everyone likes Halloween, don't they? Criminals beware, because if you break the law, someone pretending to be Gene Simmons is right around the corner and will spit fire in your face or try and bite an obscure body part off. There would be so much tongue, and c’mon… everyone likes a little bit of tongue in their lives—even grandparents. Pyromaniacs can rejoice 'cause they'll be allowed to buy, at a discount, all of the cool… hang on, wait a minute, we’re not letting the KISS pyromaniacs do anything. In fact, lock those crazy fuckers up. Finally, since the tragedy of 9/ll, what better way is there to spend the holidays than to be lickin' it up while you rock and roll all night and party everyday?

It does make more sense than it sounds...I swear, and it's fucking fun too. Who knows, these people are so scary, maybe we’ll send ‘em all to Kabul. I wish I may, I wish I might.