Larry the Skatol Molecule

Hi, kids! This is a section of The Rag that’s just for YOU!

Starting with this issue (“The Breakthrough Issue”), we’ll be devoting a little bit of space to an important and often overlooked Internet demographic. Yep, YOU! You, 8-13 year-old, ya.

This week’s topic is “Organic Chemistry,” with special guest Larry the Skatol Molecule! Here’s our interview:

The Rag’s Kidz Korner: “Say, ‘Hi,’ Larry.”

Larry: “Hi, Larry.”

TRKK: “Phew, who let the dogs IN?”

Larry: “Sorry, that’s me. Skatol isn’t to everyone’s taste, but kids and puppies tend to love me.”

TRKK: “Tell us, Larry, what’s it like being invisible, but easily noticed nasally?”

Larry: “Well, I’ll tell ya. There’s no sneaking up on anyone. I never get invited to surprise birthday parties. But, on the bright side, even as a kid I never got lost at the supermarket.”

TRKK: “Hey, kids, hear that? Maybe you could get some skatol and smear it on you next time you go to the mall! And I know just where to get some --”

Larry: “-- Speaking of nasty cracks, how’s your wife?”

TRKK: “Listen, little man, nobody talks to me about my wife.”

Larry: “Yeah, I hear she does have a new pimp.”

TRKK: “Look, component of shit, I’ll inhale your sorry ass.”

Larry: “Go ahead, inhale me. I’ll get all of my buddies inside you on MY side when they come out. I’d estimate that’s about 2 billion buddies that will literally be giving you shit in the next 24 hours. So I’d just step off, Mr. Organism.”

Ok! Wasn’t that GREAT? I must say, Kidz Korner is starting off as an exciting place! Oh, I forgot to ask Larry about Organic Chemistry. Well, all you really need to know is right here. Have fun. And until next issue, let’s sing!

“We love Kidz Korner better than Mom.
We will sue her if we come to harm.

We know the dif’rence ‘tween real and fake,
But we know to blame TV when our freedom’s at stake.

The Rag is the reason mom’s hymen was torn,
The only thing could get dad away from that porn.

Kidz Korner, Kidz Korner we love you,
‘Cause ev’ry month or so you talk about poo!”


Bye, kids. Check-in next issue for more kid-centered fun!