Shat Needs a Hug

Dear Friend,

William Shatner has played many roles in his lifetime: author, father, starship captain, director, singer, police officer, equestrian, poet, Priceline guy, and one of America’s best loved Canadian born actors. It’s no exaggeration to call him a living, breathing Renaissance man. But it’s not enough.

He knows that you love, respect, and adore him, but right now he needs a palpable gesture of that love, respect, and adoration. As hard as it may be to believe, not everyone shares the love, respect, and adoration we feel for Shat.

“Have you seen him singing and strutting around in those commercials on TV? I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, honey. He doesn’t know it’s funny.”

“I can na’ stan’ th’ truss-wearin’ bastard. Always swaggerin’ aroun’. I donno’ how much more I kin stan’.”

“I’m sorry, my friend. I do not know of this… Shatner of whom you speak.”

“I worked with the man for about thirty years, and the entire time he called me 'Davy.' assumed that he was ribbing me because of my alleged resemblance to Davy Jones from TV’s 'The Monkees.' So this went on for years and years until finally while we were shooting the last scene in STAR TREK VI. I said, 'Bill, can you please quit calling me Davy.' [It stopped being funny a long time ago.] Well, he just stood there stammering dumb-founded for a minute. It turns out that the self-centered oblivious son-of-a-bitch sincerely thought I was Davy Jones.”

“He hid my bike.”

The preceding quotes have been taken out of context and/or completely fabricated in order to protect our sources and support our cause. It should be more than evident that Shat needs a friend right now. But more than that, he needs friends. But even more than that, Shat needs a hug from his friends.

Shat’s friends here at The Rag had a dream. If we all link arms with other friends of Shat across the land and sea, around the globe, then together we are the world giving Shat a hug. However, we realized that the dream was impractical at best, and a kicking, screaming, logistical nightmare to boot.

So we decided instead to pay a stripper to dress as a green-skinned alien dancing girl and give Shat a hug, a “World’s Greatest Dad” coffee mug with “dad” covered up by a piece of tape with “Shat” written on it in magic marker. The stripper will also present Shat with a homemade sympathy/greeting card signed by the first fifty (50) friends of Shat who monetarily respond to this opportunity. The first ten (10) will also receive an official “I Gave Shat A Hug” T-shirt.

To join with The Rag in this monumental and meaningful endeavor, send $10.00 to:

GIVE SHAT A HUG FOUNDATION C/o The Rag P.O. Box 1701 Atlanta, GA 30307

You can be a part of history.