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In this paper we shall do two things. 1) prove that race horse names are unforgivably lame.
2) conclusively determine, through deductive proof, why 1) is true.
The below table of actual horse names is proof of 1)
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| Name |
notes... |
| Buckpasser |
 |
| Al Hattab |
|
| Danzatame |
|
| Precise End |
|
| Thunder Puddles |
|
| Tomorrows Cat |
|
| Talc |
|
| Unadilla |
|
| Coxsackie |
|
| Vice Regent |
|
| Corsage |
|
| Third Wife |
|
| Love From The Air |
|
| Spectaculardynasty |
|
| I Be Classy |
|
| Thrillerfrommanila |
|
| Michael's Lead |
|
| Moment of Space |
|
| Snifter |
|
| Iodine |
|
| Referee Bob |
|
| Glenda Smile |
|
| In Newt's Corner |
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| Sovereign Rip Torn |
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| Boots On Sunday |
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| Adif |
|
| Hamatress |
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| Bartok |
|
| Fabulous Champ |
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| Free House |
|
| I Can Fly |
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| Mountain Bike |
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| Phonetics |
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| Undercover Man |
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And now to fulfill 2). In an earlier paper by Moreau (1995), it was shown
that the idle class is statistically the least creative and most myopic population, and it was further shown in a paper by Kendrick et al.
(2000) that in certain closed systems, successive generations of a taxonomy become increasingly more lame. By proving that race horse
naming is not such a taxonomy, I will show that its members are so fucking stupid solely due to the Moreau Effect (1995).
Click here to see a completely random computer generated list of corresponding race horse names that
kick these names' ass!
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